I have a confession. I just lost one of my adult teeth and this of course was unplanned. I had a loose teeth because of my previous existence before last year when I didn’t put myself as a priority. Meaning before last year I didn’t practice self-care. Now that I started taking care of myself, I am paying for my past mistake of not taking care of myself. I hadn’t done teeth cleaning for more that five years. I wasn’t brushing my teeth twice a day and also flossing. The result of all this inaction is one teeth had become loose and finally I have lost that teeth.

Now that I am on this journey of self-care, I am trying to undo all the damage I have done, and It will cost me to undo this damage. The total cost to fix my broken teeth is going to be $3000. Half of this is going to covered by husband’s insurance. One thing I recommend for everyone, is to have dental insurance through work or if not through private insurance. The rest of the $1500 is going to have to be covered by other means. I do not enough savings in my emergency fund at the moment because of our recent move from Ottawa to Vancouver. So I have decided to withdraw $1500 from my RRSP (Retirement Savings Plan). This will cost me next year when I do my taxes. However I must take this set back as a lesson and now I truly understand prevention is better than cure.

This is the end of our journey this month to explore Vancouver’s Chinatown. In June we are going to explore Commercial Drive. For the end of our exploration of Chinatown, I am going to post more of the life of Chinatown. The buildings and businesses that are common to the area. Although Chinatown is not as vibrant as it used to be, it still remains the soul and heart of the Chinese community of Vancouver and other communities also benefit for having this area as a tribute to Chinese culture.

Decor of China is located @ 122 E Pender St. This business might be closing soon. It has a lot of home decor. We ended up buying a lantern as displayed in the above picture

Good Fortune Jewellery located@ 234 Keefer St. Has a lot of Jade and beautiful pieces. It is a must visit when you go to Chinatown

There are three tea shops I will recommend in Chinatown for quality Chinese tea a) The Chinese Tea Shop located @ 101 E Pender St and b) Treasure Green Tea Company located @ 227 E Georgia St and c) Ten Ren Tea & Ginseng located @ 500 Main St

I am getting tired of the narrative telling women to choose better men. Books such as “Act like a lady, think like a man” or “He is not that into you” promote the false notion that women need to become professional psychologist in order to secure a good husband. To be quite honest even the best trained psychologist would not be able to tell you the steps needed to pursue and secure a man. Encouraging women to take a role that they are not socially and biologically designed to do, is setting that woman up for failure and causing an imbalance in the male/female dynamic. Men are socially and biologically programmed to be hunters in the game of mating, women are not programmed to be hunters. Simply you can not outwit a hunter at his own game, and If you are able to outwit that hunter, you will spend so much energy that you will not be able to engage with other hunters that you will want to catch you

I urge and advocate for women to employ a different strategy when it comes to the mating game. The focus shouldn’t be on outwitting a man into choosing you, or trying to figure out a particular man’s intention. Rather the focus should be on herself. In other words, do not try to “think like a man” or “try to figure out whether he is into you” It is a waste of time and energy, and its not your job and God give talent to do so. The ways in which a woman can increase her chances of securing the best man for the job are:

1. Become the best version of yourself so you can increase competition. The more hunters that hunt after you, the more likely the best hunter will emerge.
2. Expose yourself to different environments with different hunters and then once you figured out the best environment and best hunter for yourself start going to that environment and making yourself a target in that particular environment for all the eligible hunters
3. Develop two sets of lists for yourself. Non-negotiable characteristics and negotiable characteristics. Each list must contain at least five traits. This allows you to have standards and acknowledge those standards before you encounter any man that wants to pursue you. Non-negotiable characteristics allows you to throw out any man who may even meet the majority of the characteristics, but even if they do not meet one of that non-negotiable characteristics they are eliminated as your pursuer. Negotiable characteristics are characteristics you may prefer, but can negotiate if the man meets other important characteristics. I remember when I met a man that met every characteristics I desired and more. This guy even owned a red Ferrari. The only thing about him is that he didn’t have one of my non-negotiable characteristics. He was not Catholic, and I needed my future husband to be a catholic because of how deeply I was involved in my faith and I could see the pitfalls of marrying a non-Catholic. I stuck to my standard and eliminated him as a pursuer.

So to finish this blog, I do encourage women to become the best versions of themselves, and allow the best man to rise to the challenge of winning your heart

For the month of May we had another negative budget. We made $3800 and spent $4608. So we were in the hole by $808. How did we compensate for this negative budget of $808. We had a savings of $2224 from the previous month budget, and so now we are down to $1416 for next month. Here is how the budget looks like:

	predicted			Actual- May Figures
BC Hydro	$50			$50
Lotto	$80			$160
Fun	$40			$40
Bmo Line	$450			$453
TD paym	$121			$87
St loan	$121			$89
Bank Fees	$11			$11
RBc pay2	$200			$195
Rent	$1,450			$1,450
BMO PE	$1,200			$1,555
Cibc loan	$20			$100
RBc pay1	$220			$250
Mutual F	$25			$25
Charity	$22			$22
c rbc loan	$121			$121
total	$4,131			$4,608

As I indicated in the last post, here are more pictures of Chinatown food culture. This includes Chinese options and non-Chinese options:

The first three pictures belong to our favorite food spot in Chinatown-New Town Bakery and Restaurant @ 148 Pender St E. The last picture belongs to Goldstone Bakery and Restaurant located @ 139 Keefer St.

Vietnamese Restaurant located @ International Village @ 88 Pender St W

Chinese Cafeteria Kent’s Kitchen located @ 232 Keefer St.

Juke Fried Chicken @ 182 Keefer St

1. Whether he has a vision for his future. He has his own pre-set goals and visions. He is self-motivated, and he doesn’t need others to push him to realize his vision and goals.
2. How he treats people that provide service for him. When you go grocery shopping, to restaurants, and to see a movie. How does he interact with the grocery clerk and the waiter/waitress. If this man devalues people in general, chances are he will end up devaluing you.
3. What is mentality about his role in the relationship. Does he perceive himself as a provider, protector and builder. Does he care for your needs as much as you care for his needs.
4. Look at his family background. Did he have a positive male figure in his life? Although there are some men that are able to develop a strong sense of being good husbands without having positive role models. Statistically, men who are exposed to positive male role models tend to become positive men themselves in future relationships
5. Does he have a strong sense of value and ethics. However at the same time, he possesses an air of open mindedness. A man that can balance these two forces, shows you that he is capable of being in relationship whereby everything is not always “black and white” and you need a person that is willing to engage in a fair amount of compromise and understanding

I set two goals for the month of May. The first goal was for my husband to get his driver’s licence for $95 and also to set a mini garden and plant three plants for $60. I would like to report that I was able to accomplish both goals and I had additional surprise cost of $120 for an unplanned party cruise around the Vancouver Harbour in May.

1. My husband’s drivers licence cost $75 instead of $95. We were able to get the driver’s licence
2. I was able to buy three planters and three plant seeds. The planters costs $12, the three seeds cost $6, the water pail for watering cost $10, the glove cost $5, the soil cost $3, the planter shovel cost $5, decorative labels cost $2, shelf for the plants cost 15 and also water spray bottle cost $2. The total amount spent on the garden was $60. Here is a look at the mini garden

3. Finally we went on a cruise for $120. This was unplanned but we enjoyed the cruise. We had some extra money that was used to indulge in a cruise. Here is a few pics:

Chinatown has so much to offer in terms of food choices. You will not be disappointed walking in the area and finding a diverse choices in Chinese food and also non-Chinese alternatives. In this blog I will present a few Chinese options and in the next blog more Chinese options and non-Chinese alternatives

The food is courtesy of Gain Wah Restaurant located @ 218 Keefer St

This place has been featured on CNN. It is a bakery plus has great Chinese dishes, New Town Bakery located 148 Pender st E

Simply what we can learn from a narcissist is selfish love-that is learning how to put yourself first. You know in the airplane emergency announcement when they tell you to put your mask own first before even putting on the mask of anyone else including a child. What is the purpose of this announcement? Mainly to make you aware that if you do not take of yourself, you will not be able to take care of anyone else.

I never understood the purpose of self-love. I found myself feeling guilty that I would take care of myself while others were so much in need. In reality I felt that it was my obligation to give everyone their “masks” before giving myself my “mask.”

What really made me wake up and decide to become more selfish? I realized that I had one life to live, and sacrificing myself to everyone else, was leading to me deteriorating in my physical, mental and emotional health. Also what I found out that the people around me who I felt I was sacrificing for were witnessing a depleted version of myself and not valuing me. My marriage was suffering, and my personal relationship did not feel balanced.

My self loving journey has involved me taking care of myself physically, mentally and emotionally. Since I have been taking care of myself more, i have become happier and more satisfied. This feeling of happiness and satisfaction is making my relationships happier and stronger

My self care journey process began last year. Prior to last year I didn’t put myself as a priority and in many ways I didn’t invest in myself. I did ignore my health, life work balance, dental care and enjoyment. I wanted to take care of myself, this is one of the reasons we decided to move from Ottawa to Vancouver last year. Coming to Vancouver was a new beginning to start the process of self-care. We had issues to address

1. The first issue- To reduce pay work hours. In Ottawa I was working two jobs. Both I and my husband had to assume two part time jobs because we weren’t able to secure good paying jobs because a) we were uni-lingual. In most situations, in Ottawa to secure higher paying work it is crucial to know both French and English. b) Although Ottawa has a low unemployment rate, the employment fields in Ottawa is limited in comparison to other cities such as Toronto and Vancouver. So to increase your chances of getting opportunities, it makes sense to explore your options
2. Ottawa has extreme in weather and humidity. In the winter it reaches -40 degrees Celsius and in the summer it reaches as high as 40 degrees Celsius. This extreme swing in weather can be devastating impact on the body. You are going to experience more allergies. Too cold to be outside in the winter, and too hot to be outside in the summer. Vancouver has less drastic weather and the temperature stays relatively mild. in the winter and summer
3. Family-to be closer to our families and partake in family events
4. For Lifestyle-beaches, mountains, world class food choices, shopping experience, festivals and concerts

So the reason we moved to Vancouver was for health, lifestyle, career opportunities and family. The lifestyle here is more expensive. We don’t have a car yet still have to pay $300 more in our budget compared to Ottawa. We spent $3000 to move and for over six weeks we did not have employment. So for those six weeks we lost about $6000 in earnings. Has this been worth it? Yes, Yes Yes