Generally speaking the advantage men have when it comes to dating/mating is a) their abilty to separate love and sex b) their role as choosers of relationships c) the economic advantage men have over women. The advantages women have in relationships a) their lack of dependence on “looks” as a judgement of a quality of a partner b) the easier acceptance of women into different ecosystems and cultural subgroups c) competition among men increasing their chance of finding a quality partner
In identifying this particular adventages bestowed on women, I call on women to use these advantages to find the best quality husband for themselves. In several studies conducted on how hair colour affects women access to economic resources. Among white women it was found that hair colour did not significantly affect the rate at which women got married, however hair colour did determine a women’s access to economic resources and increased access to potential male suiters. Since “blonde hair” is usually held in the white community as the standard of beauty, more men are willing to compete to get access to the “blonde women”, and therefore increasing this group of women’s abilty to secure the best option from the competition. Of course this does not in any way mean all men consider blonde women as their physical prototype.
What can we learn from studies? Competition among men is a girl’s best friend. Competition enables the women to exercise their mating/dating advantage and garner as much options so they can accept the best qualified man. How does this relate to interracial dating/mating? Simply access to all men from different races, ethnicity, and cultures creates more competition. For example if you are brunette white woman tired of having less economic advantage in the “white world,” it is your best interest to allow quality men from other groups (asians, blacks, middle eastern) , who are interested in brunette white women to compete over you, and from this increased competition your chance at securing a better quality resourced man grows
My own case study. I grew up having an affinity to celtic culture, that sort of affinity translated into a specific physical attraction to white men with unique celtic features such as auburn or reddish coloured hair and freckles. At the age of 20, when I began my journey to find a suitable partner for myself, I needed to decide how I was going to approach my search for suitable partnership. I was a black women in a city that was less than 1% black, and many people I encountered had limited exposure to black peolple or black culture expect of course what they perceived to have seen on television. I knew although I had a particular leaning interms of looks, I needed to expand my options for three particular reasons:
- I was only 20, while I had a particular leaning in terms of looks, I had yet to experience the world and I had limited exposure to life and other people. I needed to expose myself to different men from different cultures and economic backgrounds before I can make an intelligent decision on whom should be my partner
- Competition is a girl’s best friend. More offers will elicit better responses from potential male suitors
- While interrial marriages are growing, It still represents a smaller portion of the marriage rate (somewhere between 3% to 17%) depending on the area one lives. I wasn’t going to put all my eggs in one basket, and in fact a smaller basket
I increased my options and competition by allowing all men of all races to compete. The competition increased my self esteem, and it also enabled me to be selective because I could compare what different men were willing to offer. So what is my advice to women seeking partnership? I do realize that are many families and many cultural practices that do not permit women to date at all or outside permited cultural groups. However, if it is not a matter of life or death, and you are able to date without sex, do so. Expand your marketability, and shop in different markets to find the best quality man for yourself.
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