On a Saturday night, in an upscale restaurant in downtown Vancouver, I am wearing my Ralph Lauren dress and a jeweled Kate Spade earrings. My husband is sitting across the table enjoying two plates of hors d’oeuvre of oysters and escargots. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a young lady is rushing towards the table behind me. She is in her late teens or early twenties. Her long brown hair bouncing behind her, projecting an image of youth and energy. At the table behind us, she sits down and an older gentleman greets her. “How are you”, he says. “hope you didn’t get lost trying to find this place”. The interaction between them does not seem intimate, but rather friendly. The older seems to do all the talking and she just occasionally responds. He is a recent divorcee, retired and just looking for a companionship with a young educated woman. She seems enthralled by what the man is saying and promising to do for her. I do not get to learn the exact nature of their contract, but its seems to be a win win situation for both of them. After the two hour dinner, the man picks up the dinner tab and sets up the next time for their next meeting one month from now.
After the dinner, my husband asks, what do you think about the situation? would you have been a sugar baby ten years ago. I grin, and i think about out it and make my usual pros and cons list:
The pros of being a sugar baby :
- It’s a win/win situation. An economical comfortable man gives some of his resources to a young lady, who in exchange gives her energy and companionship to the man
- A sugar daddy is usually not wealthy enough to afford a Brazilian model as a wife or companion. However he can use his available resource to gain the companionship of a youthful, beautiful educated woman who would not be able to secure a wealthy man like Bill Gates
- Getting expensive dinner and gifts, trips, events shows and getting exposure to different world. I grew up in a working/ middle class home. I didn’t have the opportunity to experience the finer things in life. My one experience was getting the opportunity to see a ballet show sponsored by my school. I remembered being blown away by that show, and pledging to myself to secure those opportunities later in my adult life. I think the exposure to the finer things in life by these men to these ladies would propel in them to seek better treatment from men later in their relationship and practice hypergamy and find men that can provide, protect and build for them
- The networking opportunity that some of the men provide. The men are often retired professionals that can give great advice for these ladies on the matter of employment networking, financial advice and how to navigate in upper class environments
- The sugar baby and the sugar daddy scenario is best for a lady between the ages of 18-25 years old. This is good for a 18-25 year old lady because it provides her the opportunity to utilize her most productive years. These years are when a woman is considered to be the most valuable because of their youth and high fertility capability. It seems silly for a woman to waste those years on men below the age 30 because most men at that age haven’t reached their most valuable age because most men reach their financial peak in their 50’s. It makes sense that these older men(who are at their financial peak) are now linked to these younger women(who are their most youthful and beautiful)
The cons list for sugar baby:
- The abuse angle. These is a contractual relationship between a younger person and older person. It would make sense for the younger lady to get someone to look over the contract, so she is not taken advantage of by the older man. Also how are these young ladies exposed to these older men. Hopefully there is a vetting system whereby the men involved are vetted to make sure that the older men are men of quality.
- There is also the angle of intimacy. To do this type of relationship, these young women must be able to distinguish between love and intimacy, and also between love and sex. I know not all sugar baby/daddy relationship involves sex. however for those that do not involve sex both parties would still need to distinguish between love and intimacy. You must be able to share intimate details with each other and sometimes have sexual intimacy without getting attached. This dynamic is not for everyone, but for a young woman that can do this, it could be a rewarding experience
After looking at the pro/con list i do see more benefits for being a sugar baby. Now if I were only 10 years younger